Is it “sin” for a man to confide?
“My wife plays mahjong every day late in the middle of the night, and I ca n’t rest. If I complain, she adds all the bad words in front of everyone .” Yesterday, the women’s rights hotline received a complaint from a man.
According to the Volunteer Hotline Answering Volunteers and High Judge of the Second Intermediate People’s Court of the People’s Republic of China, since the Women’s Rights Hotline was opened in March 2000, the number of daily calls has been increasing, reaching 2807 people last year alone.
In recent years, many men have also called, complained or asked for help.
There are three main situations: one is that the husband is financially weak and despised and abused by the wife; the other is that the wife is financially weak and has a bad mental state and a negative attitude towards life, which causes the husband to be dissatisfied;People, his wife’s “cold violence” indifferent to her husband.
Mr. Liu, who lives in Dapuqiao Street, Luwan District, is 42 years old.
Five years ago, he was paralyzed in the lower body due to a car accident, and his family life was supported by his wife alone.
Over time, his irritable wife became more and more resentful of her husband, often adding his fists for little things.
After being aggrieved, Mr. Liu learned in the newspaper that the Women’s Federation had a women’s rights protection hotline, so he dialed the hotline and suffered a lot.
Volunteers at the hotline encouraged Mr. Liu to understand his wife’s hard work, revive hopes for life, “disabled but not disabled”, and encouraged him to seek employment opportunities from the Disabled Federation and the streets.
”I work hard every day to make her enjoy her happiness at home. She doesn’t even do any housework, and she can’t stand it every day. I can’t stand it!
Mr. Zhao from Wujiaochang Street, Yangpu District, introduced a women’s rights protection hotline through a friend’s introduction.
Mr. Zhao, a lumber business, had a large income, so his wife, who was a bus conductor, quit his job and settled down at home as a “father-in-law”.
Unexpectedly, the wife either played cards with the younger sisters and played mahjong every day, or was doing nothing with the TV, her home was dirty and messy, and she did not clean up.
What annoyed Mr. Zhao even more was that his wife was “suspecting and suspicious” about him, suspecting that he had an affair, and often had nothing wrong with him, provoking trouble.
Mr. Zhao “can’t stand it” and had to ask the women’s rights hotline for help.
Some men call women’s rights protection hotlines because they can’t stand the “cold violence” of their wives.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Shi are highly-educated civil servants. After being married for 3 years, his wife, who has been gentle and pleasant, suddenly became extremely cold to her husband, not only asking for a separate bed, but also hardly talking to her husband.
Mr. Shi tried hard to communicate, but his wife avoided it deliberately.
“I don’t want to lose her, what should I do?
How do you think men call women’s rights hotline?
Xu Anqi, vice chairman of the Municipal Marriage and Family Research Association and researcher of the Institute of Sociology of the Municipal Academy of Social Sciences, said: “Men calling women’s rights protection hotline is a sign of social progress.
“She said that although the hotline may not help people solve the problem, it provides a way to talk.
In the past, men were generally not good at talking, but now the society has improved and their concepts have been updated. Facing the pressure of life and social competition, men also have the need to talk.
Talking about good health.
She suggested the development of psychosocial counselling institutions so that men also have a place to talk.
Aiming at the confusion faced by men in the family, Lu Ronggen, an expert on rights protection of the Women’s Federation’s Rights Department, said: “To build a harmonious family requires the joint efforts of both spouses.
He suggested that both spouses have their own career pursuits and do not form an economically dependent relationship. If one party does not have a job, it is easy to lose his life goal, leading to spiritual emptiness and lack of enthusiasm, which in turn leads to various conflicts between husband and wife.
In addition, husbands and wives should also strengthen communication. If small issues are not dealt with, they will accumulate and eventually lead to conflict.